just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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