in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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