Im at strip club and am horny
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize