thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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