Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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