He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
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ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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