His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
