I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize