we have pet lesbian snakes
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
