I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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