Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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