I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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