my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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