I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize