I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
