You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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