I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
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We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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