i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
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Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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