i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
