We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
