My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
honey bunches of taint.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.