i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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