Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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