ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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