Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
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I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.