Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...

(716): View more from New York

what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

self-loathing.

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(617): omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night... (716): what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk? (617): self-loathing. http://tfl.nu/qojo

Replies (7) Good night (1147) Bad night (3182)
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(714): View more from California

He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.

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(714): He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/egoc

Replies (28) Good night (4152) Bad night (1812)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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(267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v

Replies (16) Good night (7777) Bad night (871)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.

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(931): I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex. http://tfl.nu/p3z3

Replies (20) Good night (1642) Bad night (4581)
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(206): View more from Washington

So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?

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(206): So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for? http://tfl.nu/tolv

Replies (10) Good night (2158) Bad night (1215)
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(813): View more from Florida

It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"

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(813): It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman" http://tfl.nu/5ocz

Replies (9) Good night (1827) Bad night (885)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas

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(734): I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas http://tfl.nu/ktjl

Replies (8) Good night (1582) Bad night (746)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"

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(586): Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face" http://tfl.nu/ajht

Replies (6) Good night (2299) Bad night (682)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.

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(225): If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place. http://tfl.nu/rizd

Replies (16) Good night (1501) Bad night (676)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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(416): Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way http://tfl.nu/xbs0

Replies (9) Good night (937) Bad night (1421)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.

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(423): I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you. http://tfl.nu/8fht

Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (871)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia

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(248): I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia http://tfl.nu/wvuh

Replies (3) Good night (313) Bad night (851)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.

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(775): Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/8a5u

Replies (4) Good night (806) Bad night (287)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(

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(613): I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:( http://tfl.nu/jd5u

Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (266)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?

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(586): I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out? http://tfl.nu/ot5v

Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (632)

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