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She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
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