I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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