She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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