so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
