i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
