Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
