There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm determined to sit on that face.