shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight