K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.