why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.