Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize