I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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