I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize