no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
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Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
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Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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