I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
