You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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