So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
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I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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