I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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