This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
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I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
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I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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