Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
