my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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