i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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