saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
