i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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