just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize