I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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