I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
