just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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