her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.