Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come