Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
